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Posts Tagged ‘leadership coaching’

Five ways to express love

Monday, May 17th, 2010

What to write in a blog today?  I know – I’ll revisit a piece I wrote in Value Adding # 54 – the summer 2009 edition of the AnD Consulting newsletter.

In it I referred to a book – The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  I didn’t find it a particularly good read – it was repetitive and too god-centric for my liking.  However I did like it’s core message that there are five different ways that love can be expressed and that we each have our favourites.  These are: words of affirmation, quality time, giving and receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.  You could score yourself at the end and when my partner and I both scored highest on affirmation and physical touch I declared that this didn’t mean he needn’t give me gifts at Christmas and birthdays!

In the newsletter I translated these five ways to express love to how they might apply in the workplace.  I believe that effective leaders praise, invest time, contribute to and even, with care, give their team members a pat on the back when it’s earned.

Which are your preferred ways of expressing and receiving love?  And how about you as a leader?  If you think you could do with some help to adapt  your leadership style, see our Leadership Coaching process and/or contact me.

Enjoying the journey

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

images-1The other day I was moaning to my son about not being able to think of what to write in my next blog.  He suggested I trawl my newsletters about leadership and learning for topics.

“Great idea!” I replied.

So here I am with AnD Consulting’s Value Adding # 55 beside me.  The section most readers have commented on is right at the end.  It’s a Souza quote and here it is:

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life.images-2 But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, a debt to be paid  At last it dawned upon me that these obstacles were my life.  This perspective has helped me see that there is no way to happiness.  Happiness is the way.  So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.  Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

Does this quote speak to you too?

And, if you’re not feeling as happy as you would like or perplexed about where you’re heading on your journey or challenged about what’s going on in your current world, maybe some AnD Consulting Vision Coaching or Leadership Coaching support might be worth thinking about.images

The ‘and’ in AnD Consulting

Friday, February 12th, 2010

imagesMy business AnD Consulting is named to encourage living life in an and/both way instead of the either/or way our western conditioning taught us.  I like telling stories to make sense of this rather abstract concept.  Here’s one about decision making:

I’ve always done my best to trust my heart and my head when making decisions.  I had a good reminder to ‘listen’ to my gut as well during a recent Leadership Coaching session.

My client was exploring the pros and cons of a big decision he needed to make.  I invted him to reflect back on a decision that had, or had not, gone well in the past, in the hope this might shed further light on his current situation.  “I’m thinking of a time when I ignored my gut feelings and just went with my head and my heart.  I’ve been able to well and truly regret that one at leisure,” he said with a chuckle.

We mulled over what causes our gut feelings and decided they are our inner knowing, gathered from a myriad of past experiences, and that we could them our intuition.

So – all in all – my client and I came to the same conclusion; it’s important to trust our head, heart and gut when making decisions – be they large or small.

Can you recall a time when you ignored your gut feelings at your peril?images-1

Leadership Coaching Byron Bay style

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

imagesYesterday my neighbour Charlie hosted the Monday morning Spin Cycle program on Bay FM – our community radio station here in Byron Bay.  His topic for the morning was leadership and he interviewed me about my work as a Leadership Coach.  We kept the topic pretty light – January being holiday and beach time around here.

I quoted a piece from the Tao that says When the best leader’s work is done the people say: “We did it ourselves!”  Then I told Charlie, and hopefully a few listeners, that I support my clients to be the best they can be; and with those who lead a team, we explore how they might lead in ways that mean their team says, “We did it ourselves”.

Do you agree with the Tao, and me, about this being a measure of an effective leader?

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Chooks and the meaning of life!

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

imagesI’m on chook feeding duties for the next few days while my neighbours are away.  I’ve just been shown what to do – take any compost scraps I have and scatter them together with the special chook feed into the chook house, top up their water then check for eggs.  There are three nests for the hens to lay in and this morning there was a broody hen covering the middle nest.  My friend tipped her off and extracted four warm eggs as she explained that Rocky the Rooster doesn’t seem to be doing his thing at the moment – one hen sat for 3 weeks to no avail not long ago.  Wow – I thought – how remarkable are the instincts that drive all sentient beings to keep their species going!

Feeling confident I’ll be able to manage my chook feeding duties OK I returned home where my thoughts turned to the human species.  With the help of contraception most of us have learned to curb our sexual instincts and limit the number of children we produce.  But I’m now wondering how driven are we nonetheless by our natural urges – just as that broody hen could sit for three weeks with no possibility of hatching some young?  images-1We get up, we go to work, we come home, we eat dinner, we go to bed and so the treadmill goes.  Unless we choose to function from a conscious place and think about the meaning and purpose of our actions first.  My meaning and purpose is to support others as they clarify and live their vision and purpose through my Leadership Coaching and Vision Coaching work – and, most of the time, this keeps me off the treadmill of life!

Do you ever make links between our feathered friends and the meaning of life?

A Women’s Retreat

Sunday, November 15th, 2009

images-3 15-53-17I’ve just had four women on a Learning Retreat here at Byrongerry.  I was a wee bit anxious in preparing for it because I’ve only hosted individual people or couples in the past.  Would my energy hold up – in my roles of coach, chef and host??

I’m delighted to report that my energy did hold up and, at their final review over a cup of tea on the deck, each woman said their hopes had been met and that they were leaving feeling relaxed and renewed.

The women each had some coaching time with me and also attended a Self-Leadership with a Horse session with a colleague who lives nearby.  I used a combination of Leadership Coaching and Vision Coaching processes in the women’s one on one time with me. Those I’d worked with before re-visited and renewed their vision while those who were being coached by me for the first time worked on a range of issues including, for one, that old chestnut of work/life balance.images-1

I’m still pondering whether I will promote the Learning Retreat for more than singles or couples – it was a lot of work – yet, when I remember the happy conversations and laughter coming from the Cloud House building while they were in residence, I know the shared experience for these four women was one of the highlights of their stay.

Can women ‘have it all,’ ie motherhood and a career?

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

Work and familyAt the Byron Bay Writers Festival last weekend I attended a session at which Cheryl Kernot (ex leaders of the Democrats) talked about how hard it was having to commute regularly to Canberra as a Federal politician whilst raising her daughter, and Anne Summers (women’s advisor to Bob Hawke and Paul Keating) said she chose not to have children because she reckoned she couldn’t have been a good mum and fulfilled her career ambitions.

Anne and Cheryl are now in their 60s so ‘praps things have improved for women I thought to myself.  But then my mind went back to the piece I wrote in the current Value Adding newsletter about the McKinsey Centred Leadership program for their emerging leaders, especially their younger women.  The article about the program suggested that “women more often opt out (of corporate life) because they carry the double burden of motherhood”.

This suggests it’s still tough for women who  want to ‘have it all’ in terms of a successful career and being the kind of mum they want to be.  Sure there is now parental leave embedded in policy and practice.  Sure there are more flexible working hours that makes the juggling act of career and parenting more do-able than in Cheryl’s, Anne’s and my day. But both these women declared, and I agree that, until organisations are led by more women and the kind of men who truly embrace the value of work places that are genuinely family friendly, it will continue to be tough for women to ‘have it all’.

And, just for the record, we AnD coaches support quite a number of executive and high potential women to be the best they can be at work and at home through our Leadership Coaching and Vision Coaching.

Thoughts about leadership on my morning walk

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

RubyAs my golden labrador Ruby and I enjoyed our morning walk today my thoughts went to the Adversity Quotient referred to in my latest Value Adding newsletter.  My mind then jumped to Goleman’s emotional intelligence (EI) and the fact that people with high EI are able to self regulate.  The link I made was that those of us who have a high tolerance level for managing adversity are likely to also be able to regulate their emotions.  I then found myself thinking about leadership and the fact that it’s not enough for leaders to have a high IQ and be technically competent – they must also control their emotions in highly charged situations.  I hear anecdotally that bullying by senior managers is not uncommon – surely this suggests a lack of ability for self control and self regulation and the urgent need for some leadership coaching support to correct this.

About then I decided to go back to enjoying Ruby’s company and the view from my road.

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